2005-01-30
God, help.
Weird weekend. Mainly because of New Orleans trip w/ French Club on Saturday.
Some people I used to know have really changed. It hurt me to watch/hear.
Maybe I am only trying to pick out the bad things of what people say, but lately I have only been hearing things like this:
"I'm only young once. I can live my life for God later."
Person 1 (Me): "I think gay marriage is wrong."
Person 2: "It doesn't matter. People can make wrong decisions if they want to. You can't stop them."
Sorry, sorry, SORRY to whoever I offend. BUT.
I am tired of holding my opinions about God back just because I think it won't be "politically correct." I'm so tired of thinking that I can't try and tell people that they are doing bad things for fear that people will say that I'm not "living in the real world and accepting how people really are." And yes, everyone sins, and that, of course, includes me. But I don't freak out when people call me on it. I'm actually very grateful. I remember a very long time ago when cuss words were a huge part of my vocabulary, but a very special person (who is now my boyfriend) was disgusted by it and told me about it, and then I thought, "Maybe it's not so cool after all." And I didn't stop right then, but I eventually did. I began to feel more and more convicted by it. And then one day I was reading a little Bible verse book I have and it basically said that obscene words don't glorify God. And then I was like, "Oh. I get it now." And I stopped.
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I want to be a good Christian. I do. And Christians are supposed to witness to people. Christians are supposed to tell people about their faith and not worry about being called "weird" or a "religious freak." Christians are supposed to lead people who aren't in God's path to the glory of God. But no one wants to hear it. The world has beat it into people's minds that "no one has any right to try and turn you to what they believe. Don't listen to them. People can do what they want to do. People who try and witness to you about Christ are pushy and all they try to do is make you feel bad. And if they try and lead you the right way, call them close-minded. Tell them that's not how the world really is. Call them delusional. Call them anything to make them shut up."
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I'm just so upset with myself. God wants me to witness to people. God said that you will be persecuted for telling others about your faith. He knows exactly what all these people are going to say and how it's going to hurt you.
WHY DO I SERVE THE WORLD INSTEAD OF GOD?? WHY AM I SO AFRAID OF WHAT PEOPLE WILL THINK? WHY DO I CARE IF I'M "POLITICALLY CORRECT?" GOD, MAKE ME STOP CARING!
glitteraloft at 10:36 p.m.